Horny & Hopeless
by Julia Fernandez Hiwatari
Summary: A goofy one-shot based on the amazing story, The Life Of Kai by PreciousRoy. Check her stories out, they are breathtaking. I can't recommend them enough.


Horny & Hopeless

Beyblade

Rated M

For: **PreciousRoy **

**Hey all! This is a one-shot request for a good friend of mine. Based on her amazing story, **_**The Life Of Kai**_**. I have another one for her in the near future but I'm not sure when I'll get to it. I plan for it to be soon though. Its for her other awesome story, **_**Preach To The Choir**_**. Either way, I hope you all, along with Roy herself, enjoy this tale! ^^ **

A lot happened when Kai turned 24. He was forced into a lavender marriage with Naomi. Who he eventually fell hard for, though he didn't know it at the time. In the shadows of her death the light called his son was born. While holding the newborn Kai was numb, and yet he felt everything. The intensity of his emotions were tripled and yet he couldn't feel them. He was just devastated and lost... Drifting aimlessly through it all. In the blink of an eye his life had been torn to shreds.

In the months that followed, life for him had built back up again, only he had some unexpected help this time. He couldn't have been more grateful for it.

In time, Gou had learned of her too. He found her art while nosying around in the attic, and being half of her, ended up taking to the same passions and music that made her so irresistible. As well as her razor's edge type of tongue.

To this very day Kai's heart ached for her. Tears still shed every now and then, the thick wound feeling just as fresh as when it was created when he fell apart. The floodgates bursting open always hurt tremendously and happened at the oddest times. Sometimes it was fine because of being on or close to the occasion but other times it just made him angry that he was still mourning her like this.

Now he was 37, bordering on 38, and life was blissful to say the least. It was undoubtedly hard yes but it felt as effortless as breathing at times.

It was currently nine o'clock on a Friday night. Kai and Rei went to stand on their sides of the bed, both looking drained and exhausted from another strenuous week. Between work and life, the list of things to do seemed endless but now they could relax, and best of all it was with each other.

"So, how was the parent/teacher conference?" Rei asked, sliding under the covers.

"Terrible." Kai started, mirroring his partner of over a decade. "I don't plan on doing that again. Next time, you're going."

Rei chuckled at that. After all this time, Kai was still Kai. "What happened?" He finally asked, not sure how to feel about his husband's silence. Though Kai being quiet was normal, his laughter usually got some kind of reaction and that would tell Kai's mood and he'd deduce where to go from there but this time, nothing. Flat out nothing, zilch, nada.

"Oh where do I begin?" Kai stated, laying down and tiredly groaning. Subsequently admitting defeat to the exceedingly long day.

Rei curled up to his mate, deciding to be the big spoon tonight. He held him close as he said, "Start anywhere you like. I'm here, baby."

"Okay." Kai thought for a moment and then rolled over, nuzzling into his kitten's chest. His heartbeat instantly soothed him, making the tenseness he felt fade away and he himself melt into a warm goo.

"Do you remember when I told you how the last meeting with his teachers went?" Kai asked, making double sure he understood where the conversation was at. It was for both of them yes but mainly for himself. He didn't want to fall asleep on him.

"Mhmm." Rei hummed out, sensually stroking the clammy and messy mop of two-tone hair.

"It was way too long and no one listened, right?"

"Bingo."

"From what Gou's told me it usually goes great. He's doing well in school so what's the problem?"

"That was _before_ we went."

"Ok... And?"

Kai lifted his head and moved to sit up. "I got hit on, a lot."

Rei's face went stern. Knowing Kai's history this wasn't something to goof around with. "Did they- I mean-"

"Most tried but failed. I slid away before any could really pull me in."

"I'm so sorry, honey."

"None of them took me seriously. Once they saw me they behaved like sex workers."

Rei raised his hands, moving them in a way that gestured for him to keep it down. "Kai, easy on the wording. He's still awake."

Kai scoffed with a dramatic eye roll and slammed against the ever-blooming pile of pillows. This was unbelievable. "Why couldn't they be professional?"

Rei smirked, knowing exactly what they saw. "Because you're a stud." His expression went serious again. "They probably were just star struck. Most of those people grew up alongside us or looked up to us. Maybe they were just being awkward?"

"Ha, not bloody likely. Grabbing at my ass and trying to grope my dick or pull me into your lap isn't what I'd call _being awkward._"

Rei wasn't sure where he was going with this but he had to try and cheer him up. Besides, he had to find a way to quell his own emotions until at least Monday. Then he could let'em have it! How dare they do that?!

A thought occurred to him, snuffing out his fuse. "... Kai? Did Gou notice it?"

"No. I made sure to keep it discrete."

Rei nodded, his insides undoing the knot they'd made. "Okay, but did _they_?"

Kai chuckled a bit. "Baba, I covered it."

"Papa, he's twelve, and _your_ son."

Kai rose a brow at that. "Meaning?"

Rei momentarily pinched the bridge of his nose. Seriously how dense was this man? "He's _observant._"

Kai blinked a few times, the meaning setting in. "Oh."

"Yeh _oh_."

Kai felt a bubbling at the back of his throat and let it out.

Rei pouted, his pointed ears twitching in annoyance. "What's so funny?"

"You." Kai said through bursts of laughter. "You're just too cute."

"If you say so." Rei ended his side of the conversation by cozying up to his pillow and dozing off. The last thing he remembered was Kai giving him a tender kiss on the cheek with the soft whisper of _I love you_ before the lights went out.

The next morning, around 7AM, Rei walked into the kitchen to find Gou at the stove cooking. Anyone of them being up early was not uncommon, but a thirteen-year-old boy on a Saturday? It still boggled his mind. Kai'd always been an early bird so it must've went down the line. For a moment he pondered if Naomi was that way.

"You're up early." Rei said as he approached the kettle on the counter. After so little sleep, thanks to Kai tossing and turning, it was a tea morning.

"Mornin', baba." Gou said, glancing back from his skillet of onion and eggs.

Rei peered over his son's shoulder at the three rings of onion filled with eggs and frowned, analyzing the food.

"Unless you want papa's cooking, you got the heat too high. Turn it down some." Luckily, they hadn't been in the pan for too long. Maybe a minute, two at most.

Gou shook his head as a rumbling chuckle came out... Every time. If his Baba was home there was no escaping some 'help' in the kitchen. With a quiet sigh, he turned the dial down to Medium Low and resumed his frying.

"Couldn't resist could ya?" He said with a soft smile turning his lips.

"Nope." Rei said as he placed the kettle on a vacant burner and switched it on.

"Is papa okay?"

Rei nearly did a double take, beads of sweat rolling over him. "Of course he is, why do you ask?"

"Because my teachers were a bunch of animals. It's disgraceful. They should all be _fired_." Gou flipped his last onion egg ring, letting it slam into the bit of oil that was pooling in the pan.

Rei went cold at the vicious tone coming from the child, he could swear he saw poison spitting from the tip of his tongue. "Um, so you know?"

"Of course I do." Gou seethed.

Rei fixed his drink, he could practically smell the fury emanating from the teen, the spoon clinging against the dark ceramic mug as he stirred.

"I need your laundry." Rei said as he left the kitchen, Gou piling his plate. Never mind, he'd let Gou have this one.

As Kai shuffled into his office, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he was met with the sight of Rei giving their son's dirty tube-sock a disgusted look as he put it in the wash. The dryer tumbling more clothes in a circle nearby.

"This is gross." Rei muttered, his extra sensitive nose curling at the fermenting stench. He noticed Kai looking at him like he'd seen him masturbating to a woman, and went about loading the rest in. After that he went with Kai into his office, knowing he needed to explain things.

"What do you mean our son is jerking off?! Into what?!" Kai said after a bit. Crap, Parenting 101 didn't prepare him for this.

"His socks, they've been unbearable lately. I think its serious this time."

"Our boy _can't_ be doing that, because that would mean he's thinking about sex, dating, marriage... A _car_!" KaI gripped Rei's shirt, becoming teary-eyed. "I don't want him to grow up."

"Touching yourself will make you go blind, and it's illegal to date until your 24!" Kai shouted as he entered Gou's room unannounced.

Gou bolted upright from his pillows in a heated glare and calmly said, "That's not a thing dad."

"It is in my house!"

Gou smacked his forehead, realizing what had happened, the humiliation coating him in a thin film of sweat. "Dad, calm down. Health class, says it's healthy and normal."

"You're thirteen, in my house! NO!"

"What!? Like you didn't do it at my age!?"

Kai stood stumped, becoming flustered. "I- Well-"

Gou arched a brow, knowing he had him, two could play at this game.

"It was over your baba." Then it hit him. "You whack your weasel over someone you gotta marry 'em!"

Gou buried his cooking face in his hands again. Okay, maybe he couldn't play this game. "Dad... No, just no." Then a thought occurred to him. He looked at his papa and said, "Are you for real?"

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

"You said I had to marry them. Is that true?" Gou's mind wandered for a minute and then he felt stiff again. His dad needed to get out, now.

Kai sensed an opportunity. "Yes! Look, I loved your dad since I was your age. Now we're married! Uncle Tyson played with himself thinking about aunt Hilary! Poof! Marriage!"

Gou both gagged and pondered over his dad's words. If he married her, he'd be able to do more just get himself off, he could... A dirty image entered his mind and he lost it.

He looked at his old man and said, "Can we finish this later? I, uh, I have homework to catch up on."

Kai smirked and, with a lean against the doorframe, cooly said, "What class? Show me?" No way was he gettin off that easy. If he had to suffer through this Gou was going down with him.

"Uh..."

Gou got up from his bed and went over, thumbing through his stuff. To both his shock, pleasure, and disappointment there was something he forgot to do. Mrs. Guggenheim had handed them a packet to do over the weekend: Etymology, Section 18 terms and definitions. Wonderful.

He walked over to his dad and showed him the five page, dual sided packet. Kai looked at it stoically before handing it back to him, on the inside though, he was baffled. This kid was good, and wasn't lying.

"Keep your socks clean son."

Gou gave him a bewildered look and Kai just shook his head, doing his best not to laugh.

"Kai, I need some muscle!" At the beckoning voice, the taller man headed down the steps toward the laundry room.

Some minutes later, Rei peered into Gou's door to see him hard at work on the vocabulary packet. He knocked and went in once he knew he had Gou's attention.

"Hey, I just wanted to say, its okay. But don't use your socks or bedding. Get some tissues or nut off in your shower. That way _this_-" He pointed toward the stairs, namely to the man cleaning their clogged lint catcher. "Can be avoided again. Your papa doesn't need teenage hormones on top of everything else and I don't wanna touch it anymore. We clear?"

Gou nodded vigorously, his face glowing red like a tomato but hot like a pepper. Today didn't just happen, did it?

"Gou, come clean this up!" Kai barked.

Gou stiffened. Shit, they'd found his dirty magazines beneath the wooden board in his hamper! He used it so his weighted clothes and the metal stuff wouldn't tear at the fabric. Oh man this was horrible. With a sigh he did the walk of shame down to where they were and fished them out, sneaking them up to his room when his papa's back was turned.

Later that night, Gou awoke to the muffled sounds of moaning and dirty talk, along with the squeaking of a bed from down the hall. Oh God, not again!

Quickly he scrambled to his feet to find his remote and blasted the movie he had in the DVD player.

"Oh fuuuck, stretch me out!"

At the busty blonde's ecstasy filled moans Gou went rigid and pressed Stop. Damnit he forgot he had that in there. The noises ceased and Gou relaxed, finally feeling like he could go back to sleep. But then...

"Oh, Kai, just like that, yes!"

Gou's eyes popped open like someone had shot at him. This was torture!

Gou growled and pressed play, restarting the film he'd received from Makoto. If they could have fun so could he. There was no shame in it.

Right when it was about to get good there's was a knock at the door. Gou hurriedly shut everything off and pretended to be asleep. Another set of knocks occurred and Gou opened his eyes. They weren't going to leave were they? Before he could get out of bed, Rei walked in and tossed him a full box of tissues.

"Keep it down." He said as he walked out.

"You keep it down."

"Nope, the gettin's good!" Rei closed his door, twisting the lock on the other side for Gou's sake, and his own. He'd deal with this tomorrow. For now, he had some territory to reconquer.

**The End. **

** I hope you liked this! And that it was worth the wait! I'm excited to know what you think! ^^**


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